StrangeRanger

The Beginning of the Great Thank You Tour

Time is a funny, funny thing.  Maddie died 3 weeks ago, but it seems like it either happened this morning or decades ago.  I suppose that's normal, but I really don't know what normal is around here.  It seems like we can never get used to the "new normal"... around here we just get used to the new weird.  It's worked pretty well for us in the past and I guess it will again.

This post is the start of the Great Thank You Tour.  So many people came by to lend their support, and were so kind, that I feel they deserve what meager acknowledgement I can give, and whatever eyeballs I can direct their way.  It'll take several weeks to find and link everyone, but I'll give it a try.

There have been many, many folks who have remarked kindly on their visits, but I'd like to start with the most stalwart friends of this blog.  Go visit them!

Perhaps the most frequent commenter at ChezRanger has been Lynne, of Little Cat Feet.  She's the proud human companion of Shaggy and Scout, two fine man-cats.  LCF has had their share of tough times recently, with their little guinea-pig Toby going to the bridge, the three year anniversary of the gallant and beloved Scooby (Shaggy's brother) crossing over suddenly as well as a loss in the human family.  Through it all, Lynne has found the time to enjoy Maddie, share her sympathies at the end, and pass on a word or two of comfort.  Shaggy and Scout have found the time to be both handsome *and* cute!

Da Tabbies o' Trout Towne have also found a place in our strangehearts here!  Cool humor, some stream of consciousness modern cat-poetry and feline spelling abound on this blog.  As well as Daisy, Queen of Cats (if we allow that Maddie was quite the princess, we'll allow that title to pass without comment  ;-)  ), Tuna of Moon and Butter-Lover Boomer!  They are watched over by the spirits of Dude and Sauce, who are showing Maddie around the new digs.

Were it not for the cat-blogging community, Maddie would have passed, mourned only by her small family.  It's been a delight to me to belong to this tight circle of the internet.  For me, it all started with the Carnival of the Cats, long before I ever even thought about sharing my house with a cat.  I'd like to thank the current custodians of the Carnival, Kiril the Mad Macedonian; Elvira, Sassy Lady and Sneakers, Texian Tuxedo.  Kiril has shown me a really surprising depth of support and I'm grateful.  All I can say is that my writing doesn't deserve it, though Maddie and Ivy certainly did.  Writing?  My friend Kiril, really sir, I'm not writing, I'm just talking through a keyboard!  Anyways, go visit The Opinionated Pussycat and submit your sites for the carnival!  I know there are other sectors of our community  to post in, and I'll do my best to get to them, but the carnival will always be special to me.  Both Maddie and Ivy were cat-models of the week, consecutively, once upon a time!

I think that'll be it for this edition of the Great Thank You Tour.  There will be more visits and links next week.  

And now for the picture, which I know is the real draw for our visitors.  

In all the muddle of emotions surrounding Maddie's passing, I've been forced to think about Ivy as well.  How is she doing in the great Beyond?

 

Hmmph.  Well, I knew you had to show up some time or other... You just stay on your side of eternal paradise and I'll stay on mine and we'll get along just fine.  There's sunpuddle enough for both of us now.  

They never did get along well.

Well then.

This is the last picture I took of Maddie, well before I knew it would be the last picture I took of Maddie.

First of all, I'd like to say Thank You to everyone who left their condolences.  I can not express how deeply grateful LayRanger and I are for your kind words and thoughts over our loss.  I wrote once, on the occasion of the death of Laurence Simon's cat Piper, that connection and fellow-feeling amongst those of us who cat-blog were one of the hallmarks of this community.  I feel it even more strongly today.  I plan to show my thanks over the next several months, by featuring and linking those bloggers who took time out of their day to empathize and lighten the load a bit.  It's not much, but it's what I can do.

Secondly, I think I owe you all an explanation.  The announcement of Maddie's death was unexpected, I know, and abrupt.  The only excuse I have is that it was that way for us, as well.  There's backstory to this explanation, so feel free to skip it if you don't need to know.

    The last 6-8 weeks have been quite turbulent and abnormal at ChezRanger.  LadyRanger got word that her mom had broken her hip.  After a stay in a rehab facility, she'd been moved back home. LadyRanger went up to the Winter Palace to help her folks cope, learn new logistics and do P.T. with her mom.  She was up there for 2 weeks and Maddie and I were living the bachelor life here.  I noticed that Maddie was spending a bit more time in her carrier, and that she was not eating as much as normal.   As she was still eating her treats, and eating her kibble from my hand (which I will forever miss) and still seemed energetic, I put it down to a temperamental reaction to LadyRanger not being in residence.  Maddie's always been a bit high-strung and has had this sort of reaction to changes in the environment before.  

    Once I went up to get LR, I figured that all would sort itself out and Maddie would return to normal.  Upon our return, it became obvious that Maddie had eaten none of her food and had had little water.  We agreed to get her into the vet asap.  We thought it might be a tooth that was causing the problems, as that had happened before.  The vet took a look on the 6th.  It was a Squamous Cell Cancer in the mouth and throat.  Maddie could no longer eat or drink without great pain.  The cancer was advanced and treatment would have, at it's least, required removing her jaw.  Dr L. did say that even if we'd caught it earlier, there is little that can be done in cases like this.

    We were, I don't know...stunned, horrified, stricken...???  I can't really come up with the words.  

    We made the decision, an easy one, really, to not ask Maddie to suffer anymore for us.  She came home from the exam and rested in her carrier.  LadyRanger called me at school to give me the news. I got home as soon as I could that day.  Maddie was sitting by the front door waiting for me to come home. We sat and I gave her the brushies that she asked for until it was time to go.  

    We took her to the vet late that afternoon.  Drugged as she was, she still growled at him, defiant to the last.  It's like they said about Teddy Roosevelt "Death had to take Roosevelt in his sleep.  If he'd come while he was awake, there would have been a fight."

    When death finally did come, I believe it was swift and gentle.

It's funny.  I don't mind seeing her pictures as they flash by on my computer.  I haven't thought I've seen her about the house, as I did when Ivy died.   What gets to me is the places where Maddie is not.  Her spots on the bed or the blanket stack are now empty.  No one taps my head in the wee hours of the morning, to get me to turn over and give her pats.  The sunpuddles have no cat in them, which is a shocking change from the last last 13.5 years.

 

I did have a dream about her a few nights ago.  I was sitting in the middle of our bed, which in our urban house is never truly dark.  Maddie walked in, hopped on the bed and simply walked around me once, then hopped down and walked away.  I got to stroke her one last time, from nose to tail as she walked by.

 

There will be more posting on this blog.  Like I said, it'll be my way to say thank you to a community who has supported me and appreciated my cats.

There are no more cats at StrangeRanger.

I'm sure that, in time, there will be, and we will learn to speak a new dialect of feline, but it will be a while.  Be assured that when that time comes, I'll blog about it, for whatever that is worth.

For now, I just want to sleep until I'm not sad anymore.

Maddie

Maddie died today.

She hadn't been eating or drinking as normal the last week or so.  LadyRanger took her to the vet today and got the grim news.  Untreatable cancer.  

We could not ask her to linger.

 

Mention her, and us, in your prayers, if you would be so kind.

We miss her so much.

There will be another post is a week or two.